Double Pain

No pain no gain?

I rather not gain.

A visit to the family dentist gave two blows.

D: Are you Dr.Shu's son?
I: Yea, hi uncle, it's been some time
D: I were this (puts is hand in the air wait level to indicate my height) short the last time I saw you.
I: Haha, and back with a toothache.
D: So what are you doing now?
I: I'm studying journalism.
D: Oh, still studying?
I: Yea,... *repeats my grandfather story* ... in UTAR, Kampar.
D: So you're studying here...
I: .... hmm, yea.

2nd blow, the ache is still here, hopefully the medicine will work and the infection will go away.

Sometimes, it's not about loving money, material driven, nor not being content.

When we're living in a materialistic world, we are driven like that. We work, get money, pay off bills and save for future. This is life.

Some who lives in comfortable houses, living off a fixed prudent salary, driving a reasonably good car, tells us to be content. How convincing.

I agree, I'm not that smart, not that hardworking. Smarter people scorn me, saying that public universities are ultimately better -- undoubtedly -- and saves thousands of dollar.

Richer people, look at me and say, "Impossible you can't go abroad for studies, your dad's a doctor", and eventually graduate with an MBBS or whatever high end degree you can find on the list.

Smart people whom are rich, yes, it's a blessing, I'll STFU.

Easier said that done, to stand up, buckle up and walk away from the past.

When people ask me where I am now-- expecting a company's name -- I feel very embarrassed, ashamed for my parents.

Who wants to stay in the dark forever? But, I just can't walk away. I just can't.

总有一天

总有一天，我能像身边的朋友一样。

一样开心。

一样成功。

一样工作。

一样买些想要的东西。

一样的想读什么master's degree。

一样让别人看的起。

一样的带给家人骄傲。


但，现在， 我只能。。。


梦见， 我能像身边的朋友一样

梦见， 我能一样开心。

梦见， 我能一样成功。

梦见， 我能一样工作。

梦见， 我能一样买些想要的东西。

梦见， 我能一样的想读什么master's degree。

梦见， 我能一样让别人看的起。

梦见， 我能一样的带给家人骄傲。

A Clown from BTG

There was a friend who once told me, "It's a good training when I was a clown, I had to put down my ego and make people happy".

In Banting, it's not an easy life where every weekend is family day.

There's no going to the Zoo or family shopping day, or maybe just for me.

Maybe, lacking of a strong present father figure allows someone to look for other role models.

I don't know where I found it, but it sure wasn't a blessing.

Well, at least I had some confidence that brought me thus far. =D

But time to abandon myself, in search of a new me.

Reminding myself that sometimes, it's good to "put down my ego and make people happy".

What if I throw my current self and could never find a new me?

Probably a question that only limits for BTG people, identity crisis, at the age of 23.

Mid-life crisis striking early? or adolescent came late? Tatau...

Banting Tales III

This is the continuation of my life back in hometown.

http://tyshushi.blogspot.com/2009/12/banting-tales-ii.html
http://tyshushi.blogspot.com/2009/12/banting-tales.html

"A story that depicts the defunct life of rural areas" - Washing Ton Post


"Unbelievably... real" - Old York Times


"Things that you don't believe. Here it is" - Shuzer Yeeh




Banting Tales III

"Raindrops keep falling on my head", sings a friend of mine while running in the ran towards the shaded porch of the university. It was a misty morning where clouds float pass the mountains of Kampar seen in the distance.

It was a beautiful song for the urban girl, dressed in MNG tops and Levi's Jeans matched with a designer duffel. Raindrops on her head seems fun.

Not for me.

Every time when it rains, I think about the windows of my home back in Banting could be soaked and wonders whether it could hold the rain water form flowing into the room.

Rain in Banting is no ordinary rain. Acidic rain might sound typical, but in Banting it rains phosphoric acid (H3PO4) rather than sulphuric acid (H2SO4). It has carved it's impression on the windows of my parents room, bit by bit, and the window could no longer withstand the wrath of mother nature.

On a bright Thursday morning, I woke up and heard some loud banging noises on the walls. I quickly walked out of my room and saw that the windows were being removed. I stood still by the doors. Looking at the rotten window panes, giving them honour of the good fight they had fought, without giving up on us.

It quickly struck my mind that it is not normal, windows were not meant to be removed. "Are we selling the windows to put food on the table?"
"Are the potatoes and vegetables not growing?"
I was in a shock.

With a gloomy feeling, started walking out of the house for some air, filled with the scent of crocodile dung, and stumbled upon a new set of windows, aluminium frame with tinted glass.

Seems like we have saved up enough for the new set of windows. Phosphoric rain is no longer a threat, for my parents' room.

What would you do when you wake up and find that your windows are missing? None thought about that question. In Banting, it is not a rare phenomenon. People sell their windows to feed themselves, for a day of two and prays that the rain doesn't come.

Banting tales - to be continued.

Philosophy ala Shu

Sometimes, life requires you to be still, sit down and think what's next.

Hmm, what's next?

Location:Jalan Batu Karang,Kampar,Malaysia

One Blinded Eye

It doesn't make sense when we sing patriotic songs louder and more enthusiastically when we were younger, and yet, the spirit just dies off along time.

Yes, there are problems to the country. Every country has their own problems.

What is stopping us from looking at the goods and blessings which we had received from Malaysia?

Why are we complaining all the time of the problems, and stopped us from looking back, what we've achieved?

Many argue that we could be better. YES, no one is trying to refute such statement.

When the sense of belonging disappears, people migrate. I have friends who have no whatsoever reasons to stay back in Malaysia, other than the lack of funds to migrate.

I say, bravo. Abandon ship when the ship is sinking. Perfect choice, smart and ingenious.

People from the other countries that you will migrate you hates you for how you dislike the foreign workers who comes to Malaysia. They see you as robbers like how you judge the foreign workers who are here. You are cheap labour there for you are willing to work, for a citizenship outside of your own home country. People laugh at you yet you blind an eye. People scorn you and you scream in favour of meritocracy. People spit at you and ask you to go back to your own country, and you say that they are drunk.

Wake up! This is YOUR country!

I'm making a mockery of myself for being so patriotic, but the bottom line is, this is it, my home none other than Malaysia.

Call me stupid, but I'm here to stay.

My favourite patriotic song, Sejahtera Malaysia reflects my current feelings.

Puji dan syukur kepada Ilahi,
AnugerahNya tiada terhingga
Kedamaian, kemakmuran,
Malaysiaku bahagia


Dengan tekad untuk berjaya,
berbakti pada nusa dan bangsa,
kami junjung cita-cita luhur
perpaduan seluruh negeri,


seia, sekata sehati sejiwa
menghadapi cabaran,
kami setiap, kami setia
berkorban untuk negara


bersemarak, Malaysia tercinta,
kibarkan panji kebesarannya,
kami rela, menjaga namamu,
sejahtera Malaysia.

Politics for Varsities?

The cabinet has again disagreed, what's next for those who has the same idea of relaxing the regulation on varsity students to join politics?

Khairy Jamaluddin who voiced out this issue that the government should allow the students in universities be allowed to join politics, is now back to square one, disallowed by the government through a cabinet ruling on 11 August.

Higher Education Minister, Datuk Seri Mohd Khaled Nordin said,  "Section 15 of the Universities and University Colleges Act (UUCA) 1971 is already adequate as students are allowed to be involved in political parties if they obtain permission from their vice-chancellors," giving a negative towards the suggesting of liberalising the UUCA.

On the same day of the cabinet ruling, Khairy lambasted at the decision of the cabinet as "gutless and indicates outdated thinking," via Twitter.

Students are supposed to focus on their academics rather than to divert themselves into politics, was probably the conservative thought. Many democratic countries are seen to be liberal on the stand that students of the major age are allowed to affiliate themselves with political parties.

Some suggested that it is a mockery of their own rules, allowing majors of age 21 and above to vote, but regulating them not to participate in political parties. Are the rights be returned to the students?

One major concern of the government, as suggested by Nizar Jamaluddin via Twitter, that the move of not relaxing the regulations, reflects the fear of support of students to the Pakatan Rakyat.

“It is sure that they will support PR because BN had violently robbed their rights to be active in politics,” he said

If Nizar is right, maybe students would have adverse reactions towards the regulations. Students in the varsities now is no longer passive, instead, voices could be heard, indirectly through the new media such as Facebook, blogs and YouTube services.

“Here’s a hint for the Cabinet: You want the youth vote, start by trusting them," said Khairy.

Voices of tomorrow, is what people call the youth of today. Government of today, is what stopping the students to be voices of tomorrow. Who shall defend the rights of the students, to be the voices of tomorrow, is the wait for today.